Day 88: Met

8:30 PM

Today, I spent time with a friend I hadn’t seen in close to 1.5 years and who hadn’t spoken with since my previous relationship ended. Of course, we picked up as though we saw each other yesterday but our conversation revolved around all the changes we’ve individually experienced. I spoke with her about my Father passing and for the first time in a long time shed tears in public. Perhaps it was because I knew she intimately understood what it’s like to lose a parent, or because the three-month mark of his death is in a few days. Regardless of the reason, it felt good to have such an honest moment with a good friend, no pretense and no hiding the impact of this event.

The recent weeks have been fun, interesting and freeing. Work has continued to challenge and push me, and as I receive feedback it reaffirms my decision to accept this position. Personally, I am enjoying being in a new relationship. I had a moment a few days ago when I decided to delete all the dating apps from my phone, and caught myself smiling as I ticked each ‘x’. It’s exciting to get to know someone in a deeper way and feel like you cannot contain yourself in anticipation of seeing them. I feel a lightness in my chest every time I get a text or chat notification, there’s something that feels so good about knowing someone wants to talk to you as much as you want to talk to them. After all the time I spent dating last year, I noticed when something finally felt so different.

The biggest difference is the way it feels to have the warmth and affection I give be returned. I don’t feel myself holding back my corny jokes, my love of dorky puns or terms of endearment. When I reach out to hold hands, I’m not left hanging. I know the person who I find funny, intelligent, attractive and caring, sees me similarly. I have no idea what the future holds or the impact of this experience on the landscape of my life. I am grateful for this person’s presence at this moment in time, and for the opportunity to see where our relationship might go. I am grateful to feel something natural and familiar with someone totally unique.