8:00 PM
I threw myself into work this week, it helped to refocus my energy on my career and my long-term plans for program development. I had a big meeting with my boss to discuss taking on greater leadership within the department and opportunities for promotion. I realize I have only been on the job for 4-months, but when I look at what I accomplished in the first 2-months solo I am proud. I developed and built the infrastructure for a program that had existed only in name and expectation. And if I do not recognize my own accomplishments and ensure others have noted them, then I run the risk of being taken for granted.
In my personal life I am struggling to stick with the communication moratorium I enforced with the man I had been dating. Part of ending things romantically with an ex is about removing their daily presence from my life. I need to shift my way of thinking and feeling about them towards platonic friendship. I have been able to accomplish this with only two exes. We are friendly and cordial, I continue to care about their happiness deeply, but we are not close. I doubt it would be possible to have a close friendship given that eventually we both moved onto other relationships.
If I don’t go through the phase of missing him, forcing myself to experience the longing without reaching back out to him, then how will I ever dampen the desire to be with him. To be honest, I wasn’t spending much time in-person with him, and what I miss the most is the conversation and daily back and forth we exchanged. I miss being a support to him and a positive influence on his life, and yet I understand that I was slowly turning into another stress in his life. And so, when he reaches out I reinforce my boundary about not talking. As much as I care about him and do truly want us to be friends one day, I also need to do what’s best for me and for moving on emotionally.
I’m doing well, I’m hanging in there, and I’m getting back on my feet.
Successive Approximations 